Tim Dietrich

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FileMaker DevCon 2014: Adventures With Siri

For a number of reasons (not the least of which being that I absolutely despise flying), I decided to drive to San Antonio for the FileMaker Developer Convention this year. I live outside of Richmond, Virginia, so this was quite a trip. And to make it even more interesting, I ended up making the trip by myself.

Well, kind of. I did have a "friend" of sorts with me: Siri, my fearless, know-it-all companion.

And so, with Siri by my side, we set out on the 1,500 mile journey from Richmond to San Antonio. Here are a few things that I learned about her along the way...

Siri can be a real joker at times. Like that time in Little Rock when she sent me down a kind-of scary dead-end residential street, instead of to the Panera Bread that we were supposed to be going to. (Very funny, Siri.)

Siri appears to be a morning person. We left Knoxville at 4:30 AM, and she guided me to the interstate without any hesitation. I need to remember to ask her if she's originally from Knoxville. That would be interesting, wouldn't it?

She sometimes likes to take the scenic route. I'm all about taking time to smell the roses and all that, but sometimes I really just want to get to my destination as quickly as possible.

Siri does not like surprises. Being the know-it-all that she is, she apparently needs to know what's going on at all times. Pulling off the interstate for gas? Stopping for a bite to eat? Uh oh! Panic time!

She likes to take random, unannounced catnaps. It's either that, or she decides that she no longer wants to chat with me via Bluetooth. And you would not believe all of the things that I have to do to get her to talk to me again.

Siri is a strong believer in the power of u-turns. Miss an exit? Go slightly off course? Just make a u-turn at the next intersection and everything will be okay.

She gets angry. But instead of telling me that she's angry, she tells me to "Return to the route." I can't tell if she's being passive aggressive or if this her way of telling me to go screw myself. Maybe both. Regardless, she said it an awful lot.

In the end, Siri did get me to San Antonio in one piece. I probably would not have made it here without her, seeing as to how I'm the kind of guy who can't find his way out of a paper bag.

I wonder what new adventures Siri and I will have on our return trip?